Yesterday I shared a powerful story of what God did on the Ignite Encounter Retreat when I led a session about God with Us. Below is a snippet of that discussion, edited to fit the blogging platform:
At the end of Matthew’s gospel, we see this powerful promise Jesus gives His disciples after He had resurrected from the dead:
“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Matthew 28:20
It’s a promise God has used to inspire me, encourage me and empower me to step out in faith. The God of the universe, this God who holds the universe in the palm of His hand, but is close enough to know the number of hairs on my head, is with me.
It’s a theme we see all throughout scripture.
From the opening scene of God walking in the Garden with man, to the end of the story where the New Jerusalem comes down out of heaven and God establishes His throne here on earth, there’s this continuing promise that God wants to be with us.
But when the first disciples heard Jesus make this promise, their response was a little different.
Just a few days before this story, they had stood by and watched as the man they thought was their Messiah, the one they thought was going to liberate them from Roman oppression, the one who promised to restore God’s kingdom and His people in their rightful place, die on a cross. He was beaten, nailed to a tree, died and was buried in a tomb.
Not really what their Messiah was supposed to do.
And to top it off, they didn’t pick up on His clues that He would have to die in order to rise again.
They thought it was all over.
So when Jesus started reappearing to them, they were shocked, excited, amazed, nervous, happy…all at the same time. Their Messiah, their friend, their Rabbi was back! And He just promised to stay with them always. If death didn’t keep Him away the first time, there was nothing that could separate them.
But then something happens that Matthew doesn’t record.
Jesus finishes giving the disciples His great commission, He blesses them, begins ascending into heaven…
and leaves them standing there.
He said He would be with them, He said He would never leave, and they watch as He starts floating up into Heaven, seemingly breaking His promise.
They couldn’t see Him, feel Him, touch Him, hear Him. He wasn’t walking alongside them anymore, telling stories, teaching and encouraging them.
Jesus was gone.
And sometimes, it feels like He does the same to us. We go through times when we can’t see Him, feel Him, hear Him. Times when it’s easier to believe that He left us. Times when it seems that He doesn’t care, isn’t answering our prayers and has left us to fend for ourselves.
Maybe I’m the only one.
But as I’ve journeyed with Him more and more, I’m beginning to see that when He seems quiet, when it seems like He has left, when it’s easier to believe He has abandoned me, is mad at me or wants nothing to do with me…
He’s still there.
He hasn’t left.
He’s just doing a work in my heart.
Maybe, when He veils Himself, it’s not that we did anything wrong but that He’s trying to get us to pursue Him in a new way. Maybe when He seems to be ignoring us, it’s because He wants us to seek Him out. Maybe when He doesn’t answer our prayers, it’s because He’s trying to get us to desire Him, not His blessings.
Maybe, just maybe, His silence is a way of beckoning us do draw deeper into Him.
Because, let’s be honest, when we feel God’s presence all the time, when we hear Him, when we can sense Him every minute of every day, we have no desire to go deeper. We have His presence, we like what we feel and we aren’t inclined to want more.
But when He’s veiled, when He’s silent, when He’s backed away…we do all we can to find Him again. And end up going deeper into who He is.
And that is, after all, God’s greatest desire.
